A few months ago, I was flying within the states and had to, of course, get through TSA travel line. Like everyone else, I prepared to stand in line and wait out the inevitable. The longer I waited, the more irritable I got with the people who were obviously not ready to effortlessly glide through the TSA line well prepared and not holding up the burden of waiting in the never ending cue. I rolled my eyes when computers and cell phones were not boxed separately. Then I made a snide comment to the couple who didn’t remove their belts. I even had a bit of a temper tantrum when there was a question about whether or not shoes needed to be taken off. Yes! That’s the answer! We all do it!
Then it was my turn. Shoes, check. ipad and cell phone, check. No liquids in my bag thank you very much. I was ready to zip through the screening machine when the unthinkable happened! I was PULLED to the side to be WANDED!!!! How on earth could this have happened! I should already be finding my way to the terminal bar!
I had no chance!
It turns out that I was pegged to be pulled over from the moment I entered the line because my pants were cuffed at the bottom! CUFFED AT THE BOTTOM!!! I had no chance of evading the detainment. I had been defeated by the very system I had been out to beat. Now, your first question to me is why didn’t you go through the pre-check line? Don’t you have pre-check?!
The answer is no. I have not paid for pre-check or global entry and I don’t intend to. Those lines, take a look, are getting to be just as long as others and TSA is coming up with ways to better control line waits all the time. Even at Reagan National, I have only waited a maximum of 5 minutes for the regular TSA line, other airports are much longer though. Additionally, I also get a complementary pre-check on my ticket with participating airlines, so I gamble on the chance that I will win the pre-check lottery.
More important than all of that is what can you do to make the TSA shuffle a little easier and less painless the next time you are off on an adventure. Here are some basics:
Plan your carry-on.
Take the time to ensure that what is in your carry-on is what you really need. If you check your bags (I am a big believer in the checked bag) then you shouldn’t need much. Your basic electronics, your plane needs, and your paperwork. I also carry a change of clothes (leggings and a shirt plus undergarments) that don’t take up much space, a solid shampoo and conditioner bar, and a disposable bamboo toothbrush.
Be liquid ready.
If you do plan to carry on everything, you need to ensure that your liquids meet all of those TSA requirements and are in the TSA approved clear bag. You also should put them in a convenient place so you can easily put them through the scanning machine on their own.
Leave the kitchen sink…
… and everything else you don’t need. If I’m flying from Montana to Arizona, I’m going to leave my winter coat and boots in the car. I can make it to the terminal in my flats thank you very much! While, I’m at it, I change purses to ensure that my Mary Poppins purse doesn’t provide me any TSA surprises. You never do know what you’ll find at the bottom of your bag.
Minimize the accessorize.
I love to wear jewelry and I want to look nice but TSA is not interested in nice or my cute new bracelets. Instead, I just put all my bling into a little zip bag in my purse and put it on when I get through. It’s one less reason to get pulled over.
Time your line.
TSA is usually a much bigger deal for people who are running late. A much bigger deal. The best advice for timing your trip comes down to three things. First, gauge your lead time based on the BOARDING time of your flight. You should be inside the airport one and a half hours before that time at a minimum. Next, use the MyTSA app to adjust this lead time based on the airport you are flying out of.
MyTSA does a great job of communicating the busy times and the down times from coast to coast. Simply, choose your airport and check out all the 411 on your pre-boarding experience. Last, check your gate location. While this may seem not necessary, trust me, it is. In some bigger airports have gate A1 compared to gate ZZ-99 can be a difference of walking 20 or 30 minutes more than you could have planned.
Get the kids ready before you leave.
Choose clothing that makes them comfy on the plane and will get through that security check quickly. Remember, no cuffed pants! Ensure that their in flight entertainment is easy to scan and that they haven’t hidden any extras that can hold you up. Personally, I don’t think that every kid needs their own personal backpack to go on a plane. The less stuff the better. For super young ones, go online and scout out the easiest places to take care of diaper changes, feedings, and play space once you are in the terminal. And yes, breast milk and formula are both permitted through TSA just be prepared to take a few extra minutes to look through that bag.
Follow the nonsense.
One of my favorite Instagram feeds is TSA. They have a great instahumor to their posts and often use the ridiculous to showcase what is and is not allowed. Giant teddy bears that take up an entire seat? I think not. While you are at it, follow them on Twitter as well. You can get to them quickly if you have lost anything or you have left anything behind.
